Monday, February 4, 2008

My Monday

So far today has been rather boring. I've been reading everyone's blog and stuff and commenting. I feel sometimes like an idiot though. Like I ask question and people give the answers, but like I don't understand what they are saying. Plus I've been feeling done in the dumps lately. I've been trying to find a blog that is about ex-cutter and shit, but none are out there. All my friends that use to cut don't talk about it. And all the blogs online are about people still cutting. Frankly I don't need that shit...I'm not saying that I'm better than that but I don't want people to "help" me out. I mean everyone needs help sometimes but I don't need people telling how not to cut because I haven't in awhile.

But right now I just need to vent about all the shit thats been going on. I didn't hang out with that guy I talked about because I honestly wasn't feeling well because I was freaking out about having to go to school tomorrow. Now I have to go to school every fucking Tuesday at 9 am. I have to get up at fucking 5:30...but its like whatever...I have to do it. But today was freaking me out because I just don't want to go anymore. I feel like I should be done with school. I am so over school work...especially homework, that is more like busy work.

This one class is freaking me out. First off, the professor has never taught at Mason before, which is fine because that has happened to me twice. But like this dude is completely insane. He can't explain himself at all. Like last class he was telling us how to round and it was a joke. He kept changing his mind and finally after everyone had left he got it "right"! It was over complicated. Then there is a website for Mason that puts all the notes on line, Webct. He has been trying to set it up for three weeks now...its like "Oh my fucking God, its not that hard!!" Then we have a test next Tuesday, but he said we would have all the notes by last Thrusday, so none of us took really good notes. Now since Webct isn't up yet, we are all going to fail the test because our notes suck. I know mine do! Then also for the class, attendence is required...which by Mason policy you can't do that! But he does and fuck it if I am going to go to every single class. I know already one in which I will miss. For Christmas, my sister and I got Spice Girls ticket for a Thrusday night. I can't go to class and make it to the concert in time, so I am just going to miss it. And I know that one night I will be like "I just want to go home!" so I will. FUCK IT!!

As you can tell I am fucking stressed. I am usually like this but right now I am really feeling it. I know its because I feel all depressed about something. I'm not sure what it is, but its probably that I feel stupid about this one thing that I did! Like anyone will remember! But hey whatever! Really what I need is some support from someone who fucking cares

(okay this kind of a woh is me blog...but whatever! You're the one that read the whole thing. so ha!)

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