Sunday, April 20, 2008

Graduation

I am freaking out about graduation. I not only know this from my everyday thinking about it but also my dreams. I know it sounds a bit Freudian, but hey I am a psyc major.

So my dream last night was that I was at a mall - a huge mall that had 3 floors - with HSfriend1 and HSfriend2. I haven't seen either of these "friends" in about 4 years, except maybe in passing at the store. We never talk or hang out or call or really anything. So HSfriend1 was looking for a prom dress, but not a dress. She wanted to stand out, so she was going to where a suit. Now this would totally happen when we were back in HS so no biggy. Then HSfriend2 decided that she wanted to look at make-up. And we went in to a store that I use to work at, but it was different because it was at this huge 3-level mall. HSfriend1 did not want to do that, but she only said something to me. So I had to try to work with both of them and either wanted to do what the other wanted to do. Once again this what really happened at the end of our friendship so no big deal. Then in the dream I started to freak out because I was missing a final that I had to take. Then I started to leave, but HSfriend1 decided that I had to stay. Then I wake up.

So now the real Freudian thing. First the reason my HS friends were in my dream because I keep comparing my Uni graduation to my HS graduation. Because it feels the same way. I feel like I am not really "ready" to graduation. I feel like I have a few more class that I have to take. I have become obsessed with checking my graduation status online. But it hasn't changed since I registered for class last Fall. In HS my last day I cried all day long. I just wasn't old enough!

The mall thing really happened yesterday, but not with HSfriend1 and 2. But with my other friend MissKnowItAll. I don't think I have talked about her, but lets just say she only cares about herself. We did go to a huge mall yesterday, but it was only one floor. I feel like it is 2 or 3 miles (not kinding) from one end to the other. She is going to grad school so everything was about her. I would look for like two seconds and she would let out a big sigh and just stand there. I seriously tried on one shirt. Which brings me to...

The suit in the dream, was my suit of my interview on Wednesday. The suit is done now with my hair and everything already decided. But of course last night I was still obsessing over it. Now I am "done" with my suit. But I have to wash the shirt that goes under it, which of course will skrink it, which is what I want. But watch me wash it and it get horribly distroyed. So now I am obsessing about that. But I can't wash it until tomorrow because that is "my day" to do laundry. My house is insane.

The finals thing in my dream, is really about finals, but my English final paper. So I really need to do it but instead of doing it, I am blogging. This is completely old behavior. But I didn't blog back then, so I would just sleep. Which I have already done today. I don't want to do it because my professor is an ass. He approved of my final paper and then he didn't. It has been really fun to say the else.

Today my mom is all on me to get my graduation announcements done, but I don't really want to. Plus we don't have the pictures yet so what the hell would these people get. A paper that says that I am graduating? I don't think people really want that!! WHATEVER!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Liz Miller said...

Breathe. In. Out. Loosen up your shoulders. It will all be okay.

If your shirt gets mangled in the wash, you can borrow one of mine.

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