I can't believe the patriots lost!!!

I really can't believe the Patriots lost last night. But since the Gaints won it is okay I guess because they are the first wild card team in the east to win the super bowl. It was actually really boreding watch in the middle, but at the end it was great. I told my sister near the end of the game that there is not way the Gaints would win! How wrong I was!!!
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So I am having some issues...there is this guy. I've known him for seriously like 15 or 16 years. We were always kind of friend because we both did swim team, so I saw him a lot. Now he has come back to NOVA and like wants to chill. But he is such a loser!! I mean I've lived at home since...well since I was born...so my parent had to get over the whole smoking thing and they accept that I drink (and sometimes get really drunk). But he doesn't tell his family anything like that...at all. He didn't even tell his family that he is hanging out with me "because of what they might say." I was like What the fuck dude?? I just don't understand why he still pretends like he is in high school. I mean he is 22 and he lives at home, so his parents will just have to accept that he does shit. I just hate it when he lies when I hang out with him!! He is really that ashamed about being with me??? Whatever.
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I don't even think I am going to hang out with him today anyways. Right now I am not feel so great. I always wake up and feel kind of sick, but today its really bad. I have a sore throat and a headache. But I feel like I have to write this blog, to keep people updated on my life. Not that my life is too interesting. But hey its fun to hear about other people's drama.

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I was reading a post by someone on The-F-Word blog and they said something that I find everyday in my life. Some one said that the blog "In defense of the cupcake"that it had inspire her, and that someday she might change. That is the key someday I might change! That implies that she wants to but she can't or won't. I find this so often in my life. I see everything in black and white. Good or bad. There is no gray area anywhere. And I hate it, so someday I might change it! Why the fuck don't I just do it right now?? I know why...its because I am scared. I don't know how to see things in shades of gray. I don't really believe there is something.

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The worst about the whole good vs bad thing is people. They are either good people are bad people. That includes me too. So sometimes I am a good person and sometimes I am a bad person. But with other people they are usually good or bad all the time. I really hate it. It makes me so angry because I know people can be somewhere in the middle...

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Honestly though, I don't know how to change anything about myself. Especially this because I've had it my whole like...maybe because I have a disorder that makes me this way or because my parents made me things way (maybe not made but certainly helped).